Gay Marriage's Unfortunate Reality

Barack Obama and his campaign are taking some heat this week over the issue of gay marriage, and while I understand some of the criticism, I also recognize what he’s doing.

The criticism I get: Progressives want the president of the United States to take a firm stand in favor of 100 percent equal marriage rights for all Americans. Period. I would love that, but while I absolutely believe that Obama supports gay marriage in his heart, I also understand why he’s been reluctant to say so. The political system in which our national politicians operate does not make it easy to take such a stand.

The criticism I can’t fathom: The message from Obama’s team on same-sex marriage is inconsistent, and it shows a lack of discipline. That’s garbage. It more likely shows a nuanced political approach to an issue that shouldn’t be so politicized, but unfortunately, it is.

Like most progressives, I support equal marriage rights with as much enthusiasm as I support anything. Nothing frustrates me more than a bunch of straight people casting ballots that say gays and lesbians shouldn’t have the same rights as them, especially those straight people who supposedly get their direction from book that’s thousands of years old. I would like a constitutional amendment that prohibits any state from preventing gay marriage. I’m pretty sure I won’t see that in my lifetime.

Nevertheless, it’s kind of understandable why Obama has handled gay rights the way he has. Every so often he does something that indicates he’s on the side of progressives and gay activists. He verbally supports repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell; his administration decides it won’t enforce DOMA; he claims his position on the subject is “evolving”; he signs the repeal of DADT; he sends his aides and VP out to declare their support of gay rights, in varying degrees.

Meanwhile, he won’t say something that hurts him in a swing state where voters may like his economic policies but are socially conservative. And therein lies the problem with our system. A small majority of Americans are fine with gay marriage, but the majority of Americans won’t count during November’s election. The majority of registered voters in a handful of swing states will make all the difference, and many of these voters base their decision on cultural issues that will never impact their lives (i.e., abortion, gun rights, Catholics and contraception, gay marriage). These are the people Obama must appeal to if he wants a second term.

We have a foolish system for electing the president. Not only are most states winner-take-all contests, but electoral votes are granted based on a state’s total of representatives + senators; in other words, it’s the number that it should be, plus two, which makes it disproportionate and gives small states more influence than they deserve. If you vote in California, New York or Texas, large states where the outcome is a given, then you are, for all intents and purposes, disenfranchised. If you live in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Indiana or Florida, for example, your vote matters. For the record, gay marriage is legal in none of those states.

My regret here is that if Obama loses in November, we can all forget about our leader openly supporting gay rights for at least another four years, and that would be a terrible blow to the cause. What would it mean to have the president stand up and say, “I support gay marriage,” rather than, “I support civil unions, and I believe gay marriage should be decided by the states”? I’d hate to see the president wait for a day that never comes.

That said, Abraham Lincoln, the “Great Emancipator,” drove radicals so crazy with his plodding pace on the slavery issue that many wanted to see him defeated for the 1864 Republican nomination. But Lincoln sought to gently guide public opinion without taking any drastic steps (remember, the Emancipation Proclamation didn’t actually free the South’s slaves since he had no say over the South at the time).

If Obama proclaimed his support for full marriage equality in a speech next week, I’d be thrilled. But I don’t think he will, and unfortunately, I understand why.